in which i receive some unexpected support, and wonder about the nature of blog.

So the other day I did a thing I rarely do. I posted a comment on someone else's blog. I will often post on blogs that belong to my personal friends, but I rarely comment on the more "public" blogs. There are usually too many comments, and I don't like sticking my neck out with my own opinion. I like to argue points, but I am sensitive about getting smacked down, and it seems with the anonymity of the interwebs, people are a lot more willing to really get into it with strangers, and that bothers me. I want a reasoned debate, not a hair-pulling session.

This blog, however, hit close to home. It was about the Anglican Church, and you can read it here, complete with comments.

So then I did something I do even more rarely, and that is out myself as a practicing christian. an episcopagan, if you will. ;) I really don't talk about this much, for a few reasons. First of all, I feel my faith is a very personal thing, and I don't like subjecting it to criticism. Second, most people feel the need to criticize it. Most christians think paganism is at best, flakey and useless, and at worst, utter blasphemey. Most pagans think christianity is at best archaic and patriarchal, and at worst, violent, exclusivist, and just plain wrong.

Of course both sides are right some of the time, and wrong some of the time. Certainly there have been horrible atrocities committed in the name of christianity, no question. However there have also been great works of mercy and compassion. Certainly also there are plenty of pagans who trivialize the faith by using it simply to stroke their ego and manipulate others, while there are also those who have a true connection to the divine and use it to bring light into the world.
Regardless, the most common reaction on both sides for someone with a foot in both camps is "gee, that's stupid".

As I don't like being called stupid, I don't talk about it much.

That said, I decided to go out on a limb and try to defend my anglican brethren while apologizing for the actions of a few. Initially, it ended poorly. I got the standard incredulous comment, and the standard "hur hur hur that's dumb" comment. Disappointedly, I drew the conclusion that things will never change. I will be a mostly closeted outcast in a group of mostly closeted outcasts if I get yelled at every time I stick my toe out the door. I resolved not to comment on the post again. It's not worth wasting your breath defending yourself to people who are not interested in listening.

Then the most delightful thing happened! Someone else defended me! I couldn't believe it! In fact, a couple of different people defended me! Amazing! Oh frabjous day! It sparked a small comments-page debate, which was relatively circuitous, but still interesting and mostly well-mannered. A good enough success, I think.

One of the people who supported me was a blogger named Yewtree, and so I went to her page to thank her, and discovered that she is a Unitarian Wiccan who blogs about her faith.
This, among a few other things, led me to question the nature of blog. Specifically my blog.

It seems like there are a lot of sort of soul-searching, faith-examining, mind-expanding blogs out there, talking about metaphysics and philosophy and deity and humanity and every other possible angle of religion and spirituality out there. What is my blog about? Me, mostly. My projects, my angst, my ego. Is this a problem? I don't know. Do I want my blog to be about something bigger than just me? Maybe, I'm not sure. Isn't blogging just the ultimate exercise is ego-stroking? If so, why should I bother blogging about anything other than myself?

Results inconclusive.
Check back later.