meanderings

so, wow, it's been a while since i posted. i've been feeling like i'm burning the candle at both ends recently, in spite of the fact that it's summer. well, it's not summer for much longer.
somehow i always think that summer will be this long period of peace and relaxation, combined with intense artistic and intellectual productivity. neither of which actually become reality, of course.
i feel like i've lost this summer. i have no idea where it's gone.
i suppose at least part of it has to do with the amount of travelling i'm doing/have done. i was gone most of june, and i'm leaving again for a week in the second week of august, which means that i have just over two weeks before going, and then when i come back, i'll have just two weeks before school starts in which to prepare myself and my life, part of which will have my sister staying with me. and the large portion of the next two weeks will be taken up with preparations for my friend's wedding, which is the reason that i'm going away in august. so, my summer is almost effectively over, in spite of the fact that there's more than a month to go before school actually starts.
another part of it is that i am a procrastinator, and have been particularly bad about it this summer. i'm supposed to be researching and applying for phd programs, as well as preparing for my modern foreign language exams, both of which i have done very little of.
and now, i have new projects!
earlier this summer i had decided that this was going to be the summer in which i allowed myself to rediscover my artistic side, which has been deeply buried/denied for a number of reasons. this has been largely successful, but it has left me rather scattered as i bounce from project to project and accomplish little on each one.
but, in spite of that, i have been accepted to have a showing of my photos at the sacred well, a store in oakland owned by a friend of mine, rabbit. this is very exciting. also, i'm going to start making some products to sell there as well, which is also very exciting. i'm all fired up to work on it, but unfortunately i'm not going to be able to get much done for a little while, since the wedding requires my full attention until it's done. sigh.
but when i get back, by golly, it's going to take off!
in the meantime, i'll take all the projections of energy, motivation, and focus i can get....
t